Tomorrow
Her world stopped as she heard him come home this night The joy of her cooking for him gone, replaced now by fear, For she heard the keys drop and scuffling footsteps on the floor and knew there was no place to hide from his drunken rage. His eyes were blurred and yet wild with power and rage at her, Not for anything she had done, but just because she was there. All the things wrong in his life were, at this moment, her fault alone and he thought, surely could have his vengeance on his own wife .
The
beating, like all the others she had endured , was swift and brutal
leaving
her bruised and battered outside and broken badly on the inside.
As he
passed out again , she pulled her self together for once more.
She
watched him as he lay in his drunken stupor, and she cried.
Tomorrow,
for the hundredth time, he will be so sorry he hurt her
His
promises to change will again fall like rain on the desert floor
Real,
wet, bringing but a brief relief and then gone......without a trace.
Once
upon a time when love was new and he was mostly sober,
memories
of the man she thought would fulfill her dreams, to love.
Now,
grasping to retain her own sanity, the logic of why she is there
she
again convinces herself to believe he is still there....somewhere
For if
he is not, then she is alone with her dreams that have died .
So
afraid to face tomorrow alone, thinking she is worthless.
Never
believing she has the power in her to be all she wants to be
And if
she left....what of the children she thinks....what would they do.
In her
fear she forgets.....children see all that happens.....and learn
The boy
learns he need not respect women, force and pain rule
No
punishments for anything, if you say you're sorry afterward..
The
girl learns women have no worth, suffering needlessly in silence
is
acceptable, and to be abused is a price that must be paid.
Tomorrow
will be better, he promised didn't he, tomorrow he will stop.
All the
love she has unselfishly given has been carelessly thrown away
For she
has forgotten, you can not help someone who does not want help.
Tears,
pleading, and her love, fall on deaf ears and are wasted
Thrown
out like trash, for they are of no real importance to him
For if
he really, truly cared , none of this would be happening.
Apologies
and tears cannot alter the recurring facts and actions
Tomorrow,
she says, tomorrow, if he doesn't change, then I will leave
The
words come easy, they have come too many times before
She
lays awake all night, feeling her inner fear, the loneliness of her heart,
the
overwhelming guilt for accepting this treatment she knows is not right.
While
her spirit slowly dies in this cage, the key to the door is in her pocket
For
deep inside her, she knows the truth her soul cannot hide from her
She may
not be responsible for the situation she is in,
but she
is responsible for her own actions, her own life, her own joys,
She is
the one responsible for how tomorrow is to be for herself, for her children.
As
sleep comes slowly to her now, she smiles thinking of tomorrow.
Tomorrow
is a new beginning.......
If he
doesn't change ............I can leave........
Nothing
is worth this..............tomorrow........
..........but
if tomorrow never comes.......
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