CONTENTMENT, HAPPINESS, AND LOVE
Content ? Happy
? In love ? Words trying to vainly express
intangible feelings that
just happen to
intertwine and yet, at the same time, seem at often at cross purposes to
each
other, standing alone,
aloof in our world of meanings.
When are we content; Happy;
In Love. Surely one would think if we were happy then
we would be content. but more often than
not it is not so. Happiness seems to be a
fleeting thing, a moment, more than a condition, although there are those lucky few
who
seem to be always happy.
A prisoner can be content
with incarceration he suffers for his crime, but he surely is not
happy. While the guard may be happy he is working but not content with
those things
he must do to control others..
And now we add In Love to confuse
matters even more.... When we are in love are we
happy ? Ah. time immortal is littered with
the tales of being totally in love, but also
unhappy love, hopeless
love. And yet if to be in love is said
to be happy and content,
then surely this cannot be so. Can all exist at the same time. All part of each other,
adding to each other. Or are
they separate distinct parts
of our lives and inherent to
what we each
separately may seek . And most importantly
which is it we seek,
............... and which will we accept.
All seek to be in love and to be
loved, but one can love the wrong person and never be
happy or content. In fact their lives become actually quite unhappy and contentment is
a
luxury beyond reach. So clearly love alone is not enough and the romantic delusion it
fosters only serves to bind the chains tighter on ones heart.
So is contentment enough ? Can we
have contentment without love? Now many, many
have settled for this. They don't find the need for love
all that overpowering, or have
lost before and cannot stand the thought of more pain. Or they know without love they
have control. But then
they are not happy. Or they smile and laugh but there is no real
happiness, for there is no love.
They
become like a beautiful bird with its home in a wondrous tree and never without
food. But it has no wings and
cannot fly and its songs echo the hidden sadness of its
heart. It cannot remember what is
missing and yet something inside weeps bitter tears
for its contentment.
Someone once asked me, who am I
waiting for, surely there must be someone out there
for me, someone who interests me that I could be with
now, and not be alone. I just
smile. For I have watched the eyes reflect the souls of those I have passed over a
lifetime. In those who say they
are contented. Seeing them unknowingly ever searching
for the briefest glimpse of love in the eyes
of their mate, for that lost piece of love they
know is not there. In those who say they are happy and yet
are never at rest, for
contentment has eluded them, and they fear love, for love will not let them keep
their
delusions of not needing anyone.
In those who say they are in love,
content and happy. Those are the eyes that forever
smile into my soul and drive me onward, patiently waiting to have all three. For now, I
am
as happy as I need be, and I have a large degree of contentment, for I know I can
wait. And she will
come. As I know the sun will rise tomorrow I know she will come.
She may not even know why herself, but she will
come, when the time is right for the
both of us. Then we can share that wondrous merging love that
brings the other gifts
with it and we will know Love, Contentment, and Happiness.
It is worth waiting.
I will not settle.
Lest my song echo forever, mirroring that which I
might have had,
.......and
been.
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