Tomorrow

 

                        Her world stopped as she heard him come home this night
                        The joy of her cooking for him gone, replaced now by fear,
                        For she heard the keys drop and scuffling footsteps on the floor
                        and knew there was no place to hide from his drunken rage.
                        His eyes were blurred and yet wild with power and rage at her,
                        Not for anything she had done, but just because she was there.
                       All the things wrong in his life were, at this moment, her fault alone
                       and he thought, surely could have his vengeance on his own wife .
                                          
                       The beating, like all the others she had endured , was swift and brutal
                       leaving her bruised and battered outside and broken badly on the inside.
                       As he passed out again , she pulled her self together for once more.
                      She watched him as he lay in his drunken stupor, and she cried.
                      Tomorrow, for the hundredth time, he will be so sorry he hurt her
                      His promises to change will again fall like rain on the desert floor
                      Real, wet, bringing but a brief relief and then gone......without a trace.
  
                     Once upon a time when love was new and he was mostly sober,
                     memories of the man she thought would fulfill her dreams, to love.
                     Now, grasping to retain her own sanity, the logic of why she is there
                     she again convinces herself to believe he is still there....somewhere
                     For if he is not, then she is alone with her dreams that have died .
                     So afraid to face tomorrow alone, thinking she is worthless.
                     Never believing she has the power in her to be all she wants to be
 
                    And if she left....what of the children she thinks....what would they do.
                   In her fear she forgets.....children see all that happens.....and learn
                   The boy learns he need not respect women, force and pain rule
                   No punishments for anything,  if you say you're sorry afterward..
                   The girl learns women have no worth,  suffering needlessly in silence
                   is acceptable,  and to be abused is a price that must be paid.
 
                   Tomorrow will be better, he promised didn't he, tomorrow he will stop.
                   All the love she has unselfishly given has been carelessly thrown away
                  For she has forgotten, you can not help someone who does not want help.
                  Tears, pleading, and her love, fall on deaf ears and are wasted
                  Thrown out like trash, for they are of no real importance to him
                  For if he really, truly cared , none of this would be happening.
                  Apologies and tears cannot alter the recurring facts and actions
 
                  Tomorrow, she says, tomorrow, if he doesn't change, then I will leave
                  The words come easy, they have come too many times before
                  She lays awake all night, feeling her inner fear, the loneliness of her heart,
                  the overwhelming guilt for accepting this treatment she knows is not right.
 
                  While her spirit slowly dies in this cage, the key to the door is in her pocket
                  For deep inside her, she knows the truth her soul cannot hide from her
                  She may not be responsible for the situation she is in,
                  but she is responsible for her own actions, her own life, her own joys,
            She is the one responsible for how tomorrow is to be for herself, for her children.
                
                    As sleep comes slowly to her now, she smiles thinking of tomorrow.
                           Tomorrow is a new beginning.......
                                         If he doesn't change ............I can leave........
                                                        Nothing is worth this..............tomorrow........
 
                                     ..........but if tomorrow never comes.......
 
                                                                                                               

 

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